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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23962738">A Forgotten Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieyasu/pseuds/shieyasu'>shieyasu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killugon Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Assassin - Freeform, Assassin Falls In Love With Ex-Royalty, Killugon Day, M/M, My First Fanfic, One Shot, Please be good to me i'm not that great of a writer, ex-royalty, killugon week 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:08:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23962738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieyasu/pseuds/shieyasu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon is, or at least was, a prince of a fallen kingdom. Killua is an assassin who ran away from home with his sister, Alluka. These two beautiful yet broken souls reach out to each other and try to fix everything else that has been broken.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killugon Week 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Forgotten Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an alternate universe, so Nen abilities and Nanika doesn't exist. Please keep this in mind while reading. Thank you Ging fuckers and normal people.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perhaps it was due to the heavy downpour, but at that one particular night, Killua felt unusually colder than normal. </p><p> As he struggled to drag his body along in the cold shower of rain, the footprints he left behind could not mask away the terrible state he was in. Blood gushing out from a potentially lethal injury stained his white undershirt. The red liquid, being washed along with the rain, ran down his body and left a mixture of pale pink in his steps. With no clear vision of where to go or how to escape the situation he was in, it was a matter of time before Killua would collapse from blood loss. The pain from his wound could not be ignored any longer, this fact grew painfully obvious to him. Yet, acting like having a mind of its own, his feet continued to stubbornly take another step in the thick vicinity of the forest he had wandered into. It may have been an act of desperation, or perhaps even retaliation, but he believed at the back of his mind that he cannot die just yet. Not without settling affairs with the family he escaped from, and certainly not without his beloved sister being able to enjoy everything the world can offer, just like any normal girl would. With these thoughts in mind, he clung desperately onto a branch he could reach. </p><p> <i> If I took 10 more steps, I probably would have already collapsed. </i> </p><p> And he couldn't be any more but correct. Still, there was a misjudgment. </p><p> Forget taking 10 more steps, the sooner he thought of the possibility, his legs already reached their limit. His eyes were barely open and the clutch of his hand was split seconds from breaking free. Before he could even notice, his brain had already sent the command and the rest of his body went to a temporary shut down. </p><p> Was his mind playing tricks on him? Killua was not sure. But he was totally certain that he could hear Alluka's voice calling out to her dear brother's name. It was moments before his mind completely shut down. His eyes could see a gentle light before him, and like a moth drawn to a lamp, his hands reacted to reach upon it on impulse. It was a warm feeling as compared to the shivering numbness he felt seconds ago.  Suddenly, he saw himself on a clear endless patch of green grass, the field extending beyond what his eyes could reach.  The breeze softly swayed the locks of his hair, further touching his cheek, and the sun as bright as ever was looking down on the world in eternal grace. At that moment, he never felt so alive yet at the same time, nonliving. </p><p> Stunned. Dumbfounded. Adjectives of this context would be the best to describe what Killua was feeling at that moment. </p><p> <i> Did I just die and get sent to the afterlife? </i> He murmured under his flabbergasted breath. </p><p> Too preoccupied with the peculiarity of the situation, Killua felt a gentle warmth envelope his hands which snapped him back to his senses. </p><p> <q>Onii-chan, are you alright?</q> A confused Alluka asked to her probably even more confused brother. </p><p> There's no way the whole thing was real. Killua vividly remembered that prior to this, he was still trying to find shelter after barely surviving a suicide bomb attack from one of his assassination targets. Left alone to wander in an unfamiliar land in a body possessing a lethal injury, he was clearly knocking on death's door that night. </p><p> <i> If I'm right here alive and well in a place too good to be true, I must have really died and left Alluka alone. </i> </p><p> Upon the realization, he tightened the grip of his hand which was currently being held by someone who seemed to resemble the girl in question, and then turned to face the little lady beside him. </p><p> <i> This person looks exactly like Alluka, but she can't be here. I may be already dead, but she should be alive and well. </i></p><p><i> This is probably just my mind playing tricks on me by projecting the things I want to see before I finally kick the bucket. </i> </p><p> <q>Nothing's wrong. Your brother was just thinking of things. Anyways, are you alright? Does it hurt anywhere?</q> </p><p> He strongly believed everything was just an image created by his brain, but he could not help but worry that what if, even with the smallest of chances, Alluka might have followed him to the after life. Not that he believes such a thing exists, <strong> but </strong> he can never be so sure when it concerns the younger sister he loves so much. Just the thought of it left him in cold sweat. </p><p> <q>I'm fine, onii-chan, but you're clearly the one who's not. You're acting totally weird!</q> </p><p> Hearing what she had to say, Killua was able to loosen up and sighed a breath of relief. </p><p> <i> At the very least, I can ascertain that she is not Alluka. If it really was her, she shouldn't be this laid-back with everything that's going on. </i> He thought as he gave the innocent little girl in front of him a pat in the head. </p><p> <q>You love head pats, right? Will you forgive your big brother for acting weird?</q> </p><p> The girl, evidently pleased, flashed a smile so pure it could literally melt the hearts of thousands. </p><p> <q>Of course! There's no one else in this world that I love more than you, onii-chan!</q> Alluka announces before giving her brother the warmest hug.</p><p> An otherwise normal act of affection would usually be nothing more than wholesome, but for Killua who had just died and left Alluka alone in the real world, it was equivalent to emotional torture. </p><p> He knew the painful truth that he will never get the chance to hold Alluka like this again, to pat her head, to see her smile, to hear her call his name so lovingly. There will never come a chance for him to comfort her when she cries, to hold her hand in order to help her sleep, and to protect her from whatever harm comes her way.</p><p> To be separated by the cruel distinction of life and death, he knows damn well that no amount of assassination he's so good at can fix and mend that gap. </p><p> <q>Alluka.</q> He whispered under a voice nearly cracking from the tears he failed to hold back. </p><p> <q>What if one day, your stupid big brother decides to go to a far away place and leave you all alone, will you hate me? Will you be sad?</q> </p><p> Killua waited for a response, but much to his dismay, he was greeted with nothing but silence. Breaking away from the hug to see Alluka's face, the sight he saw was nothing short of terrifying. Her doll blue eyes, her cute marshmallow cheeks, and her lips always curved into a smile were replaced by pure white horror and black circles eyes. It wasn't the face of his little sister. It was <em> something else. </em> </p><p> Before Killua could even think of screaming, everything else around him started to distort. The once bright sun showering the world with life was turned into a black ball of nothingness, sucking in everything in sight. The gentle breeze passing by suddenly changed to a strong gust of wind too painful to inhale, and the vast field of green became stained with a familiar red and slowly started to crack. </p><p> <i> What? It's already over? </i> </p><p> Everything that just commenced has become nothing but pitch black. The only thing Killua could feel is the familiar sensation of falling. It was a rather long fall, yet Killua could not feel anything resembling to impatience. Seeing his life flash before him, he let out the silliest question he restrained himself from asking. </p><p> <i> What would it feel like to be at the receiving end of salvation? </i></p><p> This was but petty a question that will remain unanswered. But if, just hypothetically, it would be fine to become honest with himself, Killua wanted a second chance in life and find the answers to the question himself. It was nothing short of wishful thinking, but much to his surprise, a small flicker of light appeared before him in the pitch black darkness which suddenly exploded into a blinding light that made him impulsively close his eyes. </p><p> The shock felt from the sudden burst of light left Killua seeing nothing but black and occasional static. His mind may have been too occupied to have even realized that he was already lying in bed. </p><p> <q>Are you already awake?</q> </p><p> A voice Killua has probably never heard before broke the otherwise deafening silence. A few blinks was what it took for him to finally see the unfamiliar ceiling above him. His natural instincts told him to move, but there was an inexplicable pain that prevented him from doing so. </p><p> <q>Wait! Don't move just yet. I might have been able to save you from dying the other night, but you're still nowhere near recovery.</q> </p><p> <i> It's that voice again. </i> </p><p> Killua was too preoccupied with the fact that he was in unknown territory, it slipped his mind that someone else was also inside the room. As he moved his head to the direction where the voice came from,  a young boy, probably the same age as him, was revealed in sight. </p><p> His hair was dark, unusually weighing more green than black. His eyes were unbelievably doe and inexplicably pure. There was no trace of the darkness that consumed his own. He found it difficult to look away, but if he were to stare longer, it would have been downright creepy. With that thought in mind, he forcefully faced his head to another direction. </p><p> <q>You said you saved me the other night, right? That means I wasn't sleeping for just a few hours. How long was I out?</q> </p><p> <q>You slept like a log for 3 nights. You lost a considerable amount of blood and if I haven't found you on time, I would have needed to rush you to a hospital for blood transfusion. Not that there's a hospital near here. Why were you even wandering in the woods late at night with such injuries anyway?</q> </p><p> Hearing what the other person had to say, Killua yet again looked at the other person and instinctively analyzed him. </p><p> Hailing from a family of renowned assassins, Killua has been trained with the intent to kill. He was tortured to become immune against poisons, electricity and a certain degree of pain. Ever since he can remember, he has only ever had a normal human relationship with his little sister, Alluka. The rest of his family had their own intent and perspective of him, and none of those could be considered even borderline healthy. The entire family knows and expects of him to take over the family business due to his natural talent and monstrous potential. Of course, these attributes gave birth to obsession, manipulation and deception among the family members which further corrupted a mere child to his core. Finally, at the age of 12 years old, Killua decided to leave their household, bringing Alluka with him. </p><p> Having nothing but his hatred and his little sister with him, Killua had to somehow keep the both of them alive. Yet, for a child who was raised to do nothing but assassinate at his family's will, he had to continue doing the same thing he hated to do the most.</p><p> He had to kill in order for him and his sister to live. </p><p> Due to his upbringing, it would be no exaggeration to say that for every person Killua met in his life, with the exception of his family, there were only two choices for him to consider in their interaction.</p><p> It was whether that person was needed to be killed or not. </p><p> His 16 years of life revolved around that simple mindset. So it was no wonder why, at that moment, not only was Killua's mind in confusion, his heart was also in disorder. </p><p> <q>You. How old are you?</q> </p><p> <q>I'm 16 years old. And it's not <q>you.</q> I have a name and it's Gon.</q>

</p><p> <i> Gon. </i> </p><p> Somehow, the name sounded so natural as if he has called out to it a thousand times before. </p><p> <i> That can't be true, this is the first time I'm seeing him. </i></p><p><i> Anyways, he's the same age as me. </i> </p><p> <q>It was late at night in the heart of a forest of a deserted country. How were you able to save me, let alone even find me?</q> </p><p> <q>The place we're currently staying at is close to where you lost consciousness. I live here and I was alarmed by the faint scent of blood nearby so I went outside and saw you.</q> </p><p> Killua being surprised by Gon's answer was an understatement. The boy must have an incredibly strong sense of smell to be even able to sense him from the heavy rain. </p><p> Having been able to grasp most of the situation, Killua finally took an inspection of his surroundings. He was in a relatively big yet run-down room. It looked like it was uninhabited for at least 10 years, but ignoring this fact, it was a room fit for nobility. He could also tell that the place must have been some kind of mansion. </p><p> <i> Run down room for 10 years. Uninhabited mansion. Deserted country. </i> </p><p> <q>Could this place possibly be... the royal castle of the fallen Whale Kingdom?</q> </p><p> Killua tried to fit the puzzle pieces together. The country may have fallen and have lost its power 10 years ago, but he can never forget the familiarity that came with it. </p><p> What would be the perfect term to describe it? Oh, it felt like his <i> home, more so than his own house. </i> </p><p>Gon, on the other hand, tensed up as soon as Killua asked his question. He didn't expect that someone would still remember the kingdom he also once called home. </p><p> <q>I'm surprised you can tell. But yes, you're currently inside the castle of the fallen Whale Kingdom. 10 years ago, people still inhabited this castle, but it's only just me now. I'm the child of someone who used to work here, in case you're wondering why I stay here. I just can't get myself to leave this place alone.</q> Gon said, remorse and longing evident in his tone. </p><p> He wasn't entirely lying. Gon really is the child of someone who used to work in the castle. But he wasn't the child of just any worker. </p><p> He was the son of the king, Ging Freecs, the heir to the throne, Gon Freecs. </p><p> Seeing Gon's eyes become shrouded with such impure emotion as sadness left a bitter taste in Killua's mouth. He couldn't care less, he <i>shouldn't</i> care less for a stranger he just met. Albeit the saving his life part, he can easily repay him without doing anything more than necessary.</p><p> Yet, why does he feel uneasy? </p><p> <q>My name is Killua, by the way.</q> Killua replied to ease the atmosphere.</p><p> It only took a single mention of <q>that name</q> to snap Gon out of the seemingly depressing state he looked like he was in. If Gon was tensed up a few moments ago, this time, his face was the very rendition of surprise. His already big eyes grew larger, and his sorrowful stare was completely gone as if it was never there in the first place (you know, like Ging in the anime). </p><p> <q>K-killua?</q> </p><p> <q>That's me. But what's with the funny reaction?</q> </p><p> Killua could no longer read Gon, and he already even stopped trying. As far as his knowledge has served him, his name shouldn't be anything unusual. </p><p> It shouldn't be anything unusual, but why does this boy in front of him look like he solved one of the world's greatest mysteries or something?</p><p> <q>You're that Killua! The one from 10 years ago! You kept wandering into the castle saying you have an assignment, but we eventually became best friends. Don't you remember me? I'm Gon, the prince of this castle!</q> </p><p> <strong> *click* </strong> </p><p> Gon was hasty, or rather, he was desperate. Killua understands, though. </p><p> Like a broken switch finally working again, he's fully aware that the boy, who has suddenly just held his hand and looked at him like a lost child finally reunited with his mother, was speaking nothing but the truth. It was as clear as his untainted eyes, because it was at that moment, </p><p> <em> Killua finally understood. He finally remembered what seemed to be the most important memory deprived of him. </em> </p><p> From the moment that Killua first heard Gon's voice, a ringing in his head kept him from thinking straight. </p><p> The very first time he saw him after a while reconnected him to something he was not aware of. It was a very foreign feeling. </p><p> He was bewitched. He was too naive to realize what those feelings that came rushing back were called. </p><p> But it could no longer be called a mystery, because it was as clear as day. It was something he believed he only felt for Alluka, </p><p> <strong> It was love. An emotion ever so human, yet powerful enough to bless and curse. </strong> </p><p> <q>Gon. I missed you.</q>  </p><p> Like a dam no longer able to withstand the water, Killua could not hold back the stream of tears. Suddenly, even for an instant, everything felt perfectly in place. </p><p> As much as smiles are contagious, tears are even more so. The two young lads filled the room with nothing but grotesque sobbing and a non-stop exchange of <q>I miss you's</q> and occasional stupid insults from Killua. </p><p> Memories are the most important treasure that needs to be protected. Because once you lose it, you may never find it again. You can turn the planet upside down, but without even realizing you have lost something important, you will never even have the urge to search for it. </p><p> For Gon and Killua, it was fate that decided to reconcile their two lost souls, back to where they originally belong. </p><p> Travelling back 10 years in time, Whale Kingdom was enjoying yet another peaceful morning. The crown prince, Gon Freecs, was having a particularly more peaceful morning as he had successfully ran away from his aunt Mito and his dreaded literature class. </p><p> Gon had the instincts of a wild animal, so he can usually sense what normal people could not. His mother would regularly say that Gon got if from his dad, but that much didn't matter. Because It was during this certain morning at the backyard of the castle that Gon noticed the presence of another person. It wasn't the presence of the castle guards, and definitely not his aunt Mito's. </p><p> It was someone who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. </p><p> But as a 6-year old who knew very little of the world, he feared nothing. </p><p> <q>The person hiding behind that tree. You can come out now. Don't be scared.</q> </p><p> The person in question froze in his place. If it were any other intruder, they would have immediately tried to escape. </p><p> But it wasn't any other intruder. No one expected him to be yet another naive little 6-year old like Gon. </p><p> Despite being raised as an assassin beyond his will, Killua still held pride in his skills and his label of being a young genius. Having been found out by a child, a royal brat of all people, was a blow to that pride. Panicking in his feet, the little intruder had no choice but to reveal himself. </p><p> At that moment, Gon was surprised by two things. </p><p> One being that the intruder in hiding was a little kid like him, </p><p>and the second being that the kid was crying. </p><p> Gon doesn't recognize him nor remember seeing him inside the castle. He doesn't even seem to be a citizen of the country. Though, this did not matter much to him. </p><p> Gon was too fixated on the sight in front of him, untamed silver hair and sapphire blue eyes glistening with tears. The little kid was a fascinating discovery to him. Despite the annoying cry and the snot running down his nose, these do not taint the new gem Gon has found. Seeing him felt like he was opening his mother's treasured jewelry box. </p><p> <q>Why are you crying. Did you hurt yourself?</q> Gon asked. It was his turn to panic when he came to his senses. If he cried any louder than this, the guards would have been on alert. </p><p> <q>You weren't supposed to find me out. Now I have to go home and tell my father that I failed my mission.</q> </p><p> <q>I-it's my fault ?? I'm sorry, then. But why were you sneaking in inside the castle anyway?</q> </p><p> <q>Father's possible new client wants to target Whale Kingdom's royal family. So my father assigned me to gather information.</q> </p><p> <q>Target us?  Is your father an information broker? </q> </p><p> <q>No. All the members of my family are assassins.</q> </p><p> <i>Assassins.</i> </p><p>For a kid his age, Gon should have been foreign to this term. But, as a member of the royal family, he was painfully aware of what it meant.</p><p> Assassins are people who kill other people for money.</p><p> He was made to sure to learn of this at a very young age, because as royalty, he's more vulnerable of meeting these types of people than any other normal child. </p><p> Despite having just known a potential death threat, Gon was the least scared. Rather, he could not even move his eyes away from the kid who announced the threat on his life.</p><p> <q>So you're going to kill me too?</q> Gon asks out of sheer curiosity. </p><p> The mention of the word <q>kill</q> seem to have triggered something in Killua. Gon noticed the subtle change in how the other kid suddenly looked like a helpless cub. </p><p> He's seen him cry just now, but Gon could feel this sadness was even far worse. It roots back to a far deeper reason that he will never be able to understand.</p><p> <q>I don't want to kill people anymore. Is that too much to ask?</q> Killua says as more tears break down.</p><p> <q>Then don't kill people anymore.</q> </p><p> <q>It's not that easy! My father may not kill me, but he might kill Alluka! I can't endanger my sister so willingly.</q> </p><p> Killua's sudden outburst of emotion caught Gon off guard. He was far from learning the gray mentality that occurs in this world. To someone so young and naive, the world only meant black and white. This may have just been a flawed mentality of a child, but maybe, <i>just maybe,</i> this mentality was what freed Killua from his chains back then. </p><p> <q>Then you can live here together with your sister. That way, I can have two friends! You see, I don't really have friends to play with. You look like you're the same age as me. So let's be friends, okay?</q> </p><p> Gon handing out his hand for Killua to reach wasn't just a simple gesture of starting friendship. For Killua, it was acceptance, it was a start of change and a breakthrough from his life that was already stained bloody red the moment he was born. </p><p> Gon was the first ever existence of light to his pitch black life. Having seen the light for the first time in his life, Killua was blinded, but Gon made sure to hold his hand so that he wouldn't lose his way. </p><p> Ever since that day, Killua continued sneaking inside the castle under the guise of <q>collecting information.</q> They would have their little rendezvous at the castle's backyard, the exact same place where the two of them first met. They would mostly talk, laugh and play all morning and afternoon. Two children with their own reasons of not having any friends, finally crossing paths with each other and completing what they both lack was one of the most wholesome highlights in both of their lives. </p><p> Truly, the time they shared during those moments were the most fun they have ever had. </p><p> Killua continued his "mission" for an entire week until one day, when enthusiastic little Killua was about to set off, his big brother Illumi informed him of the news that the client backed out and he no longer needed to sneak in the castle. </p><p> <q>It seemed that the idea of assassins taking the royal family's lives didn't sit well with them. So they backed out saying they'd do the killing themselves. Isn't this nice? You wouldn't need to leave so early in the morning and arrive late at night just to travel to the neighboring kingdom. You don't even have to soil your hands this time.</q> </p><p> Illumi probably had more to say, but Killua could not hear anything beyond what was necessary. The fact that he already lost all the excuse to go out and meet with his new friend was more than enough for him to stress about. </p><p> The familiar dark corners of their house began to swallow him whole again. Perhaps he was too blinded that he closed his eyes on the reality that appeared before him. </p><p> His life belongs in the dark. Someone as bright as Gon does not deserve to be tainted by that darkness. </p><p> He knew this very well, yet the little promise he made with Gon occupied more of his mind than any other destructive thought he otherwise would have let consume him. </p><p> <i>Should I think of an excuse to go? More importantly. Gon's life is in danger! I need to save him!</i> </p><p> He was in a panic, but he shouldn't make it any more obvious. Not in front of an enemy, not in front of his big brother of all people. </p><p> Though, no matter how discreet Killua thought he was being, Illumi could see right through him. He already knew of everything that transpired in the past week. </p><p> As someone who knew Killua the most, Illumi believes that his little brother cannot keep anything from him. And like hitting the nail in the head, he was sure spot on with this speculation. He started noticing the little changes at the second day of Killua's investigation. Normally, the little assassin dreads going out and fulfilling missions. So seeing Kil willingly and almost voluntarily leave for tasks was odd enough to raise suspicions. </p><p> Now that Illumi knows, he isn't just going to sit down and watch his brother get distracted by petty things such as "friendship."</p><p> That night, Killua was more or less ready to go. He already had explained the gist to Alluka, and she was more than willing to leave the house with her beloved big brother.</p><p> <i>As long as we stay here, we'll never be free. Gon, Alluka and I can flee and live somewhere else were no danger can potentially harm us.</i> </p><p> His wishful thinking was about to become reality, or at least he thought it was going to be, until the person he least wanted to see the showed himself up in front of him, crushing what little hope he had left. </p><p> "I knew you were going to escape with Alluka and go to that kingdom's prince. Too bad for you, I can't just let that happen, Kil." </p><p> "Illumi." Killua murmured under a surprised gasp. </p><p> Having been caught by Illumi, Killua was left with no choice but to pointlessly struggle. Though, no matter how much he resisted, his efforts were all futile in the face of his big brother who came prepared. </p><p> Knocking both Killua and Alluka unconscious, Illumi made sure to seal all the memories he deemed to be mere "distractions" for his little brother's growth. </p><p> While Killua's memories of Gon were slowly being sealed away,  Whale Kingdom was under attack by a neighboring country, one they least expected to bare fangs against them. Due to the lack of preparations and the shock that came with it, the kingdom was overwhelmed and the royal family either died or fled. Most people speculated the former to have happened, but going back to present times, Gon is doing well and is very much alive. </p><p> <q>What happened on the night of the attack? Since you're here and you saved me, then I can assume the royal family is alive?</q> </p><p> "Yes. We actually managed to escape to safety. But my father, the King, stayed behind. We have never seen him since, but I am certain he's alive somewhere out there." Gon said with much conviction. There was not even a flicker of doubt in him. </p><p> <q>I'm sure you'll be able to find him.</q> Killua said. Assuring not just Gon but also himself. </p><p> <q>What about you, Killua?</q> Gon immediately notices the faint waver of emotions in Killua's eyes and tries to dig deeper into it. </p><p> <q>I escaped home with Alluka 4 years ago.  Though, now that we're free, I still haven't strayed from the bloody path of a murderer.</q> Killua said as he clenched his fists. </p><p> He was ashamed that nothing about him changed when Gon had struggled by himself all these years. Not forgetting how he wished in front of Gon that he wouldn't be manipulated to kill anymore, he couldn't help but laugh at himself. </p><p> Things have certainly changed now. He wasn't being manipulated. He now kills at his own will. </p><p> <i>A person like me doesn't deserve to be with someone as bright as Gon. I will only bring darkness to his life.</i> </p><p> While Killua was being consumed with destructive thoughts, Gon already knew what he wanted to do, and nothing can stop him from getting what he wants. </p><p> <q>If that's how things are, then you should come with me, Killua. We can also bring Alluka along and search for Ging!</q> </p><p> <i>No. Please don't say something like that. If you keep insisting, I won't be able to reject such an alluring offer.</i> </p><p> Like a self-defense mechanism, Killua fought hard against his desires of being with Gon and protecting Gon. He never once considered the thought that maybe, just maybe, it was possible to do both things. Gon wanted Killua to realize this </p><p> <q>You wouldn't want to be with a murderer like me, Gon.</q> </p><p> Killua isn't particularly the most honest man in the world. He grew up lying as if it was as easy as breathing. His entire life may as well just be one big act. </p><p> Why do humans lie in the first place? </p><p> Reasons vary, but lying in itself may as well be a tool to get what you want. </p><p> But this was one of those particular moments that he wished from the bottom of his heart the other person wouldn't buy his lies. </p><p> This certain scenario may just as well be one of the rare situations wherein lying is committed to create the opposite effect from what the heart truly desires. </p><p> Though, no matter how much his mind warned to stay away, Killua can never deceive his heart. </p><p> And as if Killua was some sort of unpolluted body of water, Gon could easily see what he really wanted. </p><p> <q>What are you saying Killua? You keep calling yourself with depressing names like cold blooded murderer this and assassin that, </q></p><p> but from now on, I only want you to call yourself as Killua, the friend of Gon! </p><p> Killua has always been the one who would protect his little sister and show her how beautiful life can be. Yet, he was aware that even he himself was lost, that he himself only saw a glimmer of that beauty. </p><p> This was it. This was the salvation he needed. </p><p> <i>Gon, you really are the light.</i> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not proofread sorry if the English jumped off. N e ways, this is my first ever KilluGon fanfic. I have twitter @/MrEasyCore</p></blockquote></div></div>
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